The Age Old Question

It’s a question that haunts us from the dawn of men, giving headaches to countless men, discussions that lead to war, Mass hysteria and Chaos. If you’re wondering which question then shame on you, the question is of course : Can men and women be friends? Now before we go any further with this awesome topic that certainly will create a shitstorm for me. I’m no expert yeah? I’m no psychologist or Oprah (which is practically the best next thing), so I have no facts to back me up or anything. I’m not even entirely sure you should take everything I say serious cause I know I don’t.

Aight that being said let’s get this bitch going. So can men and Women be friends? Short answer? Maybe, if hell freezes over.

The main reason a man can’t be friends with a woman is: if you want to mount your “friend” like a rodeo (if you had the chance), than I’m not entirely sure if that’s friendship, again no expert here. I have a couple of good (male)friends and the last time I checked, I didn’t want to bone any of them if I had the opportunity. Now the reason I say this, is that in any normal circumstances the male counterpart would seize the chance to go Klingon on her(her as in the female counterpart of course) ass. I know what you’re thinking : “What is the normal circumstance?”.

He'd go Klingon on her ass

Let me sketch it out for you; You’ve met during class / work or anything else that isn’t club related cause we all know we are not in clubs to establish new friendships. Now removing the factor that both male and female aren’t horribly disfigured or of course isn’t fat cause that’s pretty much the equivalent of being horribly disfigured in Modern Society views on what Beauty is of course. You’ve started talking cause you both are attracted (in a general sense) to one another be it by looks, interest, humor or a combinations of those . So you start hanging out and eventually became friends, mind you that I didn’t use the word date, that’s a whole different ball game.

So this is like an example of a “normal circumstance” there are many other examples but I’m not in the mood nor do I have the time to write them all down for you, I think you already know what I mean. And to be fair, there are cases when two people meet this way and truly are friends and nothing more but hey there are people in the world who have a disease which make them look like trees. What I’m trying to say is, the world is huge and weird, so freak accidents are bound to happen.

Now you might have noticed that I didn’t include what the not “normal circumstances” is, I have two reasons for that; one, I’m to fucking lazy to write them all down and two, I’m no Cockblocker, so it’s entirely up to you to decide if  you’re included in that category or not(you’re welcome).

So now that we have that outta the way, let’s get to the root of the problem here yeah? So we’ve already established that both parties were attracted (be it by looks, interest and / or humor) and made a connection. The key word here is attraction and don’t you dare to disagree on that cause when is the last time you’ve started talking to a random person of the opposites sex who you thought was ugly, not talking about the not-really-my-type or I’m-not-really-atracted (and I mean sincerely not talking about the-person-is-standing-next-besides-me) ugly. Cause we all have seen the not-so-handsome-person with the quiet-handsome-person couple. No I mean horrible, circus freak, kill-it-with-fire type of ugly, hmm?? Yeah I thought so, again key word? Attraction!

A girl / woman can “cancel” or “turn-off” if you will her attraction(after making the connection just before the become friends) for the guy at any giving moment for any reason. It could be that the dude took to long to make a move or that she got to know him better and decided that he isn’t right for as a BF. Now these are only a few examples of why it can happen, knowing women (which I clearly don’t) there could be thousands. So for those who are wondering if there is a chance it could be uncancelled or turned on again. It will most likely not happen but yet again freak accidents do occur. Further more is it my civic duty to inform you that you my friend are in the friendzone, I think you already know it deep down but I have to say it, so I can sleep better at night knowing I did the right thing.

You're in the Friendzone my friend.

Now once a man is attracted to a woman, it’s forever unless she did some truly disturbing / fucked up shit. Cause her talking about Hitler as if he was her hero or even worse her claiming that she likes Justin Bieber might be a turn off for him. By the way, him being attracted to her doesn’t necessarily mean that he LIKES her, you know as in like her, like her. That’s two separate things, a guy who is attracted to her wouldn’t mind her dating other guys or whatever and doesn’t wonder what if? Cause if that would be the case he’d be in the Friendzone and he actually likes her.

Let me be clear before I end this epic / most retarded explanation of why men and women can’t be friends,I know I only been talking about that guys would bone their female friends but it’s just because I can relate to that. There are enough girls who wouldn’t mind boning the Sweet Baby Jesus of their guyfriend, that’s what I’ve been told anyways. It still doesn’t change the fact though.

So back to the main question can man and woman truly be friends? I don’t know it solely depends on the situation I guess, one thing is for sure though letting someone ride on your discostick (elegantly put by Gaga) isn’t what friends normally do. Perhaps a bit crude but then again quite true.

Maybe it’s like Nietzsche said:

“A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.”

About Kidd STRΔNGE

Philanthropist, Street Poet, Musical Genius & lvl 58 Dark Elf Wizard.

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